The tragic crash of Continental flight #3407 just outside of Buffalo, NY in February pointed out something that is becoming all too familiar in our society, and it has nothing to do with the plane. It proved that in this day and age, nobody even knows who their neighbors are.

Did you see any of the interviews from the first few hours after the crash? I saw more than a dozen with “neighbors.” Each time they were asked, “do you know the people in that house, do you know their names or how many people live there?”  The answer was always, “I don’t really know them,” or “I don’t know their names.”

“I Don’t Really Know Them”

I noticed while watching these interviews that many of the neighbors seemed almost embarrassed as they made those statements.

I might understand the ‘not knowing’ a bit more if it were more of an urban area, but Clarence Center, NY has a population of only 1,700 with many of the people living there for several years, including the people in the crash neighborhood.

I come from a small town, population about 5,500, and it’s safe to say that everybody knows everybody: their names, how many children they have, where they work and they all know about each other’s personal business, whether or not they should.

My Neighbors

It’s interesting to think about my own current neighbors. The truth is, I don’t really know much about them. I do know the first names of a couple of them, but I don’t know their last names, much about what they do for work or much about their families.

I think they’re probably in the same situation with me and really don’t even know the basics about who I am or what I do for a living.

A humorous point is that I know more about the neighbors who have dogs, probably because you cross paths more often.  I still don’t know their names, but I do know the names of the dogs. I have heard lots of people say this same thing and it’s very interesting. They know more about the pets than the people.

The Disconnect

Why is it that we don’t know about our neighbors? I think it has a lot to do with the pace of life. We all work so many hours and have so many other commitments that maybe we’re rarely home or rarely have the extra few seconds that it takes to introduce ourselves. I also think that in current society, and most recently with the current economic situation, that everybody is more ‘me-centric:’ I can only worry about me because that’s difficult enough in itself.

I searched for studies on why people know so little about their neighbors, but I had trouble coming up with much.  One that I did find surveyed Europeans and found that Britons were the least likely to know their neighbors. While it didn’t exactly explain why that is, the article pointed out that people in the UK scored lowest for ‘trust and belonging.’

Read: Britons Less Likely To Know Their Neighbors

Why Some Knowledge Might Be Good

Think about the reasons why you might want to know your neighbors. Your own well-being could be impacted.

In the case of flight #3407, had any of the neighbors known anything about the people in the home that the plane crashed into, they could have assisted rescuers. I’m sure the survivors from the home were in shock. A familiar face could have helped calm the victims and assist rescuers in treating them. A knowing neighbor may had been able to tell first responders that there are normally three people in the home; an adult man and adult woman and their 20-something daughter. A neighbor-in-the-know may have also been able to contact family members or close friends to alert them to the tragedy and update them on the conditions of their loved ones.

Along similar lines is the issue of your personal safety. Have you ever checked the sex offender registry to see if your neighbor might be on it and could potentially be a risk to you, your children or grandchildren? Without knowing their name you may be out of luck to run a simple Internet check on them. Have you ever checked the weekly police blotter in the paper? Maybe you have a troubled neighbor who has a passion for breaking into homes, but you’ll never know it if you don’t know their name.

There is also the networking angle. Right now a lot of people are losing their jobs or looking for more stable work. A recent Duke University study said that one of the best ways to find a new job is through your neighbor.  The article about the study reads in part:

“Neighbors naturally form social networks, but the question is what is the extent and effect of those relationships,” said Patrick Bayer, the lead author of the study and an economist at Duke. “We found that social interactions among neighbors on a block are an important source of job referrals and that these referrals have measurable economic benefits.”

Read: Neighbors Refer Jobs, Study Says

Getting To Know The Neighbors

If you’re now convinced to get to know the neighbors, how do you go about doing it?  There is a guy named Scott Ginsberg who has made a career out of getting to know people. He is known as the “Nametag Guy” because he always wears a “hello, my name is…” sticker.

I read several articles about Ginsberg that said it all started as an experiment in college on how to be approachable. His actions later developed into a book and a job as a career coach and speaker. Ginsberg says the name tag is an icebreaker that invites people to get to know you. I know I am not going to walk around wearing a name tag, so how else can you approach or become more approachable?

Here are my own ideas:

• Give a wave, a smile or a hello: I think this makes you immediately more approachable. A neighbor is more likely to ask your advice on how to get the lawnmower going if you have seemed polite and friendly before.
• Find a common bond: Do you both own dogs? Try walking them at the same time. You’ll each learn the name of the dogs before you swap your own name. That can let the conversation develop into more about each other.
• Take notice: If you suddenly see the neighbor sporting a leg cast, take a second to stop and ask what happened or how they are. Information will start flowing freely. You may even find you have something in common, like you both play basketball at the gym, and that’s how the neighbor got injured.
• Include them: If you’re having a bunch of people over for a barbecue, invite the neighbors, even if you don’t know them that well. What’s the worst that can happen? They have a bad time or embarrass you. Well, you didn’t know them anyway! Look at it this way: if they’re at the party, they can’t really complain about the noise.

There are my suggestions for breaking the ice, short of wearing the name tag. What are yours?